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Dora is in a good mood this morning.  Soon, she will leave for work.  I am looking forward to going Upstate with her this Saturday.  We will visit Bear Mountain Park, and stay overnight in Monticello.  We will visit Port Jervis on Sunday.  I hope to have a good time this weekend.

I spoke to my mother last night.  She is okay.  I am looking forward to her continuing good health.  It is she who is making my weekend getaway with Dora possible.  And it is Dora and my mother that ordered a new desk and a new chair for me.  They arrived yesterday.  It was easy to put the chair together; but it’s going to take some effort to put the desk together.  However, I am looking forward to having a new desk.

My sister recently thanked me for the copies of, “Black Power”, that I sent her.  She said that she would frame one of the copies.  Judy will be sixty-five years old on 5/7/07.  I’m sure that she and my mom are looking forward to spending a week together beginning on 3/21/07.

Hatred is too stressful.  I am striving for positive thinking.  I’ve gone through a lot; but there’s no point in beating a dead horse, or crying over spilt milk.  I need to go forward.

After sending six copies of my EP, “Ms. Hooker Is Running Free”, to indiecentric, I have twenty-one copies of it left.  I will have to make more copies of, “Ms. Hooker Is Running Free”, soon.  My EP still brings me pleasure.

I finished a new drawing yesterday afternoon; it’s called, “Smokey”.  I put away my drawing pad and magic markers.  I won’t draw again anytime soon.  I will be blogging more often, and publishing more poems at http://www.poetrypoem.com/nickchina

I will also continue to promote my EP.

The weather is gradually getting better again.  I hope to be more active.

Matters are stable.  Americans are leaving  me alone, after damaging me a great deal previously.  My sister is visiting my mom for a week, beginning on 3/21/07.  Dora  and I will be Upstate this weekend.  No one is bothering me.  I do not hate my mom.  I am lucky to have her.  I have vetoed the various criticisms of my mom by my former psychotherapists.

My current psychiatric treatment consists of monthly visits to Dr. Rudy, and taking 15 mgs. of Abilify each day, plus 20 mgs. of Lexapro each day.  Dr. Rudy has not criticized my mother.

Despite my heart attack of 12/15/06, I’m okay.

It’s been eventful since I was released from  Elmhurst Hospital on 8/15/03.  Dora moved in.  Maria waned.  I finished probation.  I studied with NAMI.  I stopped attending psychotherapy.  I went a year without any medical treatment.  I was in Florida twice; but decided not to move there.  Many things have taken place.  I have not had sexual intercourse since Memorial Day of 2003.  I would like to give it a try again; but still have higher priorities.

I outlined a new drawing recently.  I’ve blogged a bit.  I’ve published a few poems recently at www.poetrypoem.com/nickchina

I sent six CD’s to indiecentric today.  I’m on good terms with my mother, Dora, and Judy.  I see my cardiologist again this Friday.  I see my psychiatrist on 3/12/07.  I will see my internist on 4/25/07.  I am under control.  I am not psychotic. 

I must read the tea leaves.  This morning, Dora said my psychiatrists were right about my mother.  I can no longer deny what’s in the cards.  My mother is a very sick woman, and always has been.  She may very well be the leading cause of my disability.  But I have previously written about my mother sufficiently.  I have already recorded in this blog what my psychotherapists have said about her, and I have written about her extensively in my other journals.

Spring arrives next month.  I need a bounce to my step.  All I need to do is live in Forest Hills.  My mother and sister are no longer threats to me if I play out my hand correctly.  I will not be in Florida again, or indulge in a missadventure.  

I will blog.  I will publish my poetry.  I will draw.  And I will continue to promote, “Ms. Hooker Is Running Free”, my EP. 

Yesterday marked exactly three years that Dora Khasidova has been my platonic House Guest.  We continue to get along well, although this Age of Terror is hard to bear.  There is no evidence that Dora will be moving out anytime soon, but she will be in Denver for about a week, beginning 5/22/07.

I expect to live in Forest Hills as long as my mother lives in Manhattan.  She is okay.  I will not be visiting her this weekend for the first time in a long time.  Things got to me again.  I need some space, and since my mother is relatively well, now is the time to seek free space.

Dora and I have been through a lot.  She recently started Accupuncture treatment for her two herniated disks, and she’s still bothered by mood swings and hot flashes from her Menopause.  But Dora and I have stood our ground successfully.  We overcame two attempts to get us to move to Florida.  I finished serving Probation successfully.  Since getting my Dell, I have been blogging and publishing my poems and circulating my songs and drawings.  I have survived a Heart Attack, and am the bettet for it.

I am happy that I do not have any medical appointments until 3/2/07.  I am looking forward to warm weather.  I intend to loosen up and let the chips fall where they will.

One of the things that Dr. Rudy told me this past Monday afternoon is that it’s a sign of maturity to be able to change one’s course. George W. Bush is immature. I am mature. I’m back on 20 mgs. of Lexapro each day; and I have increased my daily dosage of Abilify to 15 mgs.. I do not want to be considered psychotic. I will be seeing Dr. Rudy once a month beginning on 3/12/07. I do not have anymore medical appointments this month.

I have decided to return to drawing as a primary activity. I like my most recent six drawings.

This is one of them. It’s called, “Black Power”.

When I got out of North Shore Hospital on 12/22/06, I was taking ten different medications, in addition to my supplementation.  Now, I am only taking five different medications, in addition to my supplementation.  Abilify, Altace, Coreg, Ecotrin, and Simvastatin.  God has chosen to spare me for the time being.

I see my psychiatrist, Dr. Rudy, for the first time since 1/9/07 tomorrow.  I am determined to continue to take 10 mgs. of Abilify each day.  I will tell Dr. Rudy that I wish to see him as infrequently as possible.  I have not attended psychotherapy since I last saw Dr. Giniger in June of 2005.  Now,  I want to minimize my psychiatric visits.  I do not respect American psychiatrists, psychotherapists, or clinical social workers.  May all charlatans perish according to God’s Plan.

The microwave procedure Dr. Dybner performed on me on 11/29/06 proved to be successful.  I only get up a couple of times at night in order to urinate.  I last saw Dr. Dybner on 2/8/07.  He told me that I did not need another appointment with him until next August.

I last saw my Internist, Dr. Frank, on 1/24/07.  He said that my blood work was good, and that I was doing fine.  My next appointment with him is on 4/25/07.

When I last saw Dr. Fitzig, my Cardiologist, on 2/2/07, North Shore Hospital still had not forwarded my hospital records to him.  But he did adjust my medication.  I see him again on 3/2/07.  In April, he plans to measure the size of my heart in order to learn what’s left of it.  All my medications are heart medications; except for the Abilify.

Dora continues to be plagued my her chronic back pain.  She sees a Neurosurgeon the day after tomorrow.  Although she is suffering, she is functioning well.  Hot Flashes also bother her; but she keeps on keeping on.  She is a good, stable influence on me.  On the 21st of this month, it will mark 3 Years that she is back in my apartment.  Our friendship continues to be platonic.

Thank God my Mom is well.  I visited her again yesterday.  She continues to be a happy, grateful trooper.  So far, so good.  May my Mom be happy and well for as long as God wishes.  I’m very lucky to still have my Mom.

My sister, Judy, and me are still on friendly terms.  She will be sixty-five years old next May 7th.  She will be visiting my Mom for a week next month.  Godspeed!