artist

It’s been eighteen days since my last entry.  I became very upset the evening of the 5th because I received a threatening letter from a lawyer representing my Co-op.  The letter stated that I had to evict Dora from my apartment, or the Co-op would consider evicting me.  My Mom took the letter to her lawyer, and he said he would take care of it, and that there was nothing for me and Dora to worry about.  We shall see.  My deadline for evicting Dora is the 31st of this month, according to the nasty letter.  The nerve of some people!  That diabolical Mr. Horn is behind the letter.  He is evil; but he and his wife have not been making too much noise lately.  I am an original resident of my building.  I moved in in 1964.  My maintenance is current,  and has been almost always.  Some people cut off their nose to spite their face.  I am ready for a fight with my Co-op; but only through my Mom’s lawyer.  Dora and me are not moving until we are good and ready, if ever.

I have been taking Lexapro since the 3rd of this month.  My full dosage of 20 mgs. per day began on the 10th.  I am starting to feel much better.  This has been a very good day for me so far.  Lexapro usually takes from two weeks to a month to become effective.  I hope that by September 10th I am a reinvigorated man.

My Mom plans to spend September 20th through October 3rd with my sister in Florida.  God bless them both.  I have been visiting my Mom in Manhattan every Saturday afternoon lately, and hope to continue this custom for as long as possible.  Praises to my Mom!  She continues to help me a great deal.

I attended the NAMI Poetry Workshop on the 15th of this month.  It went better than expected; for on the 17th some of us took part in a cable show taping of us reading our poems.  I will be on an upcoming segment of Mental Health Update on Manhattan Cable Channel 57.  I read my poem, “Especially For Israeli Soldiers”, on the show.  It was a thrill to take part in the taping of a television show.

Dora and I continue to get along well.  God has blessed me.  I have everything I need, and only want to get over my anxiety depression so that I can return to living artistically full time.

Let us all continue to come to our senses, as we cherish and savor life. 

I’ll be visiting my Mom again today.  She is an amazing elderly citizien, who is planning to visit her older brother in Israel again soon.  My Uncle Ben is in his early 90’s.  I am most indebted to him and my Mom.  They continue to protect me.

My sister and her husband are stable in Florida.  I have been exchanging e-mail with her again lately.  She had a good time during her recent visit to New York.  I am doing my best to cooperate with my Mom, my sister, and Dora.  Despite her bad back, Dora continues to be basically happy most of the time.  I am grateful to God for my current circumstances.

I saw Dr. Rudy again on the 3rd of this month.  We agreed to meet once every two weeks.  He prescribed 20 mgs. of Lexapro per day, in addition to the 10 mgs. of Haloperidol per day that I am taking.  Haloperidol is for my psychosis.  Lexapro is for my anxiety and depression.  I am  looking forward to feeling better.  Anxiety has been my main emotional problem during the past three years.

Little by little, I am becoming less isolated.  In the past two months, I have seen Dr. Rudy twice and I attended two Queens Awakenings Support Group meetings. I have also seen Dr. Frank three times.  On the horizon is a NAMI Poetry Workshop meeting on 8/15/06.  I see Dr. Rudy again on the 17th.  Also, I am planning to meet someone over coffee soon.

I hope the worst is over.  I am no longer in denial. 

I am stunned by world events.  I would so much like to see violence end; but it is increasing.  I cannot say or do anything that will convince people to change their atavistic ways.  I am praying that people come to their senses soon, and that we all turn to constructive living.  We need to stop our destruction.

August is an important month.  It was on August 15, 2003, that I was released from my last psychiatric hospitalization.  It is tomorrow that I see Dr. Rudy, my new psychiatrist, for the second time.  I will be seeing him once a week, unless something unexpected happens.   It is the 21st of this month that Dora will have been back in my apartment for 30 months.  She was with me for 30 months from 1992 through 1994.  So, soon Dora will have been with me a total of five years.  This month also marks six years since since I last saw Ann Progler, and 5 and a 1/2 years since I last saw Sharon Jacobs.  God bless everyone.  Let us learn to forgive, to heal, and to proceed constructively.

I am a new man at sixty years.  I have minimized my anxiety of late.  I am doing my best to count my blessings.  I am no longer in pursuit of fame, fortune, and power.  I simply wish to be healthy.  I am on good terms with my Mom, my sister, and Dora.  I am back in psychiatric treatment, and am also seeing my Internist, Dr. Frank, regularly.

I do not actively hate anyone, and wish George W. Bush well.  I would like to see us all put aside our differences and grievances and start to practice what we all preach.  Love and Peace.