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Perky got trapped in a glass of water this past Monday morning, while I was in the bathroom.  By the time I got  her out of the glass, it was too late.  She gasped for air a couple of times in the kitchen sink, and then died.  Dora came home from Denver the following morning, and I told her what happened.  She said she was very upset; but she did not scream at me.  Bashful, our other small parrot is fine.  Long live Bashful!  I told Dora that, if she wants another bird to replace Perky, I would buy it for her.  I also told Dora that I was very sorry, and that I did not kill Perky on purpose.  Dora said that she knew that I was not a monster.

Dora’s back still bothers her very much.  She is afraid that she might have to resort to surgery.  Today, she is getting another referral for more Physical Therapy.  I gave her a massage again this morning.  God bless Dora.  August 21st will mark 30 months that she is back in my apartment.  May God lead us to a fulfilling friendship.  Our relationship will continue to be Platonic.

As for myself,  Perky’s untimely death led to a severe Colitis attack; but I am regaining my senses.  I saw Dr. Frank on the 20th, and he said that I was doing well.  My only abnormal blood reading was a somewhat high white blood cell count.  Dr. Frank was not alarmed.  I am having this test done again on August 31st, and will be seeing Dr. Frank again on September 7th.  However, I did see him again yesterday regarding a persistent pain around my waist on the right side of my body.  He gave me a thorough exam, and said there was nothing surgical going on, that there was nothing serious evident.  He said I could take Advil for the pain, which I did.  The pain has not been present today.

Thank God my sister and my Mom are okay.  I visited them the evening before yesterday.  They had another carton of Marlboro for me.  We ate dinner at the Wicked Wolf.  I will do my best to serve my sister, my Mom, and Dora well.  My sister went back to Florida this morning.  My Mom is at work.  Dora may or may not join her there after she gets her new referral.  I will be visiting my Mom again the day after tomorrow.

I will return to weekly psychiatric treatment beginning on August 3rd.  My Mom’s psychiatrist said that I was being smart and logical for returning to weekly psychiatric supervision.  I do want to suffer less, and things will not get any easier.  I have been through a little too much in my life.  I hope that I can rise to the coming challenges. 

I see Dr. Frank tomorrow morning.  Time reveals all.  I will know where I stand.  Tomorrow evening, I will attend a Queens Awakenings meeting.

My Mom and my sister are doing well in Manhattan.  The Heat Wave has broken.  Dora is in Denver.  She will be sad to learn that one of the eggs Perky laid has broken in two.  Perky is a small parrot.  Dora recently brought two birds into the house.  Life goes on.  I’m not alone.

I hope to concentrate on practicing my songs again.  I have been singing, “Death Is Marching In”, lately.  Please visit http://www.radiosubmit.com/rs/bands/279

Happy Summer! 

I had blood work done for Dr. Frank at Quest on Austin St. yesterday morning.  Matters went smoothly.  They took three tubes of blood from me, and also a sample of my urine.  I am ready to see Dr. Frank on the 20th.

Dora is happily stable.  It’s been much better for her since our visit to the ER on the 3rd.  She is back in Physical Therapy, and is looking forward to her trip to Denver beginning on the 18th.  She is a delightful friend.

My Mom continues to support and encourage me through my suffering.  She is an amazing elderly person.  She is looking forward to my sister’s arrival from Florida tomorrow afternoon.  I will be visiting them this Sunday.  I already have Egglpant and Onion salad for them, and my Mom will let me know what else to bring.  These days are precious.  Time is passing.  None of us are around forever in our present biological forms.  My Mom is in her eighties.  Judy is 64.  I am sixty. Thank God I have come to my senses before it was too late.  I am most grateful for my current circumstances in light of my history.

I spoke to Edie Klein yesterday over the phone.  She will let me know this Monday or Tuesday if there is going to be a Queens Awakenings meeting on the 20th.  I told her I would do my best to attend if there is another meeting.

Healing takes time.  I realize that I have come a long way since August of 2000, when Ann Progler and me went our separate ways; and then one dismal thing led to another.

I still believe in Peace.  Prepetual war is not a viable option.  If I can come to my senses, so can everyone else. 

This month has already proven to be a turning point. I have let go of material ambition. As long as my Mom is alive in Manhattan, I will not try to sell this apartment. Also, I will take heed of God’s current kindness, and suspend spending on my songs, poems, journals and drawings.

Dora is better. She found a new doctor, and is in Physical therapy again. She leaves for Denver a week from tomorrow. She is usually cheerful, and we are getting along well. God bless Dora.

My first session with Dr. Rudy went well. I see him again on August 3rd. He is prescribing 10 mgs. of Haloperidol per day for me. The Medicare part D co-payment is just under $34.00 for a 30 day supply of Haloperidol. I like Dr. Rudy; but do not anticipate seeing him more often than once a month for fifty minutes.

My visit to my Mom’s the day before yesterday was a mixed bag happening. Matters went reasonably well, but I was left reliving all of the negative criticisms of her by my various former psychotherapists. They were dim wits. My Mom is a great mom.

Today, I changed my linen, made my bed, and did the laundry; in addition to returning Dora’s movies to the library. The main events this week are my blood work on the 13th, and Judy’s arrival on the 15th. I will be seeing my sister soon for the first time in a long time. We are on good terms. God bless God.

July has already been very eventful.  I was at the Emergency Room of Forest Hills Hospital with Dora on the 3rd.  Her back has really been acutely bothersome of late.  An ER doctor gave her two injections.  One was a muscle relaxant; the other was Advil with Codiene.  Dora is in the process of finding a new Internist so she can get a referral for Physical Therapy.  She has been somewhat frantic; for her pain is severe.  Dr. Frank, Our regular Internist is on vacation, and his covering doctor, Jack Mann is also unavailable today.  I will keep my July 20th appointment with Dr. Frank; but Dora does not plan to see him again.  She believes he has dropped the ball by being on vacation without competent back-up.

To make matters worse, Mr. and Mrs. Horn have been making noise again despite my recent meeting with them and the Building Manager.  They are a diabolical couple, and Dora and I realize that we must move as soon as reasonably possible.  The Horns have been disturbing our peace for over 21/2 years.  They will not cooperate.  Dora and I must start making a concrete effort to move.  It was not pleasant catching two mice in our apartment either.

Tomorrow, I see Dr. Rudy, my new Psychiatrist, for the first time.  I am pleasantly surprised by how well I have been holding up.  I have not had Psychotherapy since 6/3/05; nor seen a Pyschiatrist since 7/19/05.  I still plan to see Dr. Rudy once a month for a full session.

Thank God my relationship with my Mom is stronger than ever before, as we all face the inevitable.  Death can claim anyone at anytime.  We need to file this fact away, and concentrate on living.